BOOK	O
ONE	O
CHAPTER	O
I	O
ANTHONY	O
PATCH	O
In	O
1913	O
,	O
when	O
Anthony	O
Patch	O
was	O
twenty-five	O
,	O
two	O
years	O
were	O
already	O
gone	O
since	O
irony	O
,	O
the	O
Holy	O
Ghost	O
of	O
this	O
later	O
day	O
,	O
had	O
,	O
theoretically	O
at	O
least	O
,	O
descended	O
upon	O
him	O
.	O

Irony	O
was	O
the	O
final	O
polish	O
of	O
the	O
shoe	O
,	O
the	O
ultimate	O
dab	O
of	O
the	O
clothes-brush	O
,	O
a	O
sort	O
of	O
intellectual	O
"	O
There	O
!	O
"	O

--	O
yet	O
at	O
the	O
brink	O
of	O
this	O
story	O
he	O
has	O
as	O
yet	O
gone	O
no	O
further	O
than	O
the	O
conscious	O
stage	O
.	O

As	O
you	O
first	O
see	O
him	O
he	O
wonders	O
frequently	O
whether	O
he	O
is	O
not	O
without	O
honor	O
and	O
slightly	O
mad	O
,	O
a	O
shameful	O
and	O
obscene	O
thinness	O
glistening	O
on	O
the	O
surface	O
of	O
the	O
world	O
like	O
oil	O
on	O
a	O
clean	O
pond	O
,	O
these	O
occasions	O
being	O
varied	O
,	O
of	O
course	O
,	O
with	O
those	O
in	O
which	O
he	O
thinks	O
himself	O
rather	O
an	O
exceptional	O
young	O
man	O
,	O
thoroughly	O
sophisticated	O
,	O
well	O
adjusted	O
to	O
his	O
environment	O
,	O
and	O
somewhat	O
more	O
significant	O
than	O
any	O
one	O
else	O
he	O
knows	O
.	O

This	O
was	O
his	O
healthy	O
state	O
and	O
it	O
made	O
him	O
cheerful	O
,	O
pleasant	O
,	O
and	O
very	O
attractive	O
to	O
intelligent	O
men	O
and	O
to	O
all	O
women	O
.	O

In	O
this	O
state	O
he	O
considered	O
that	O
he	O
would	O
one	O
day	O
accomplish	O
some	O
quiet	O
subtle	O
thing	O
that	O
the	O
elect	O
would	O
deem	O
worthy	O
and	O
,	O
passing	O
on	O
,	O
would	O
join	O
the	O
dimmer	O
stars	O
in	O
a	O
nebulous	O
,	O
indeterminate	O
heaven	O
half-way	O
between	O
death	O
and	O
immortality	O
.	O

Until	O
the	O
time	O
came	O
for	O
this	O
effort	O
he	O
would	O
be	O
Anthony	O
Patch	O
--	O
not	O
a	O
portrait	O
of	O
a	O
man	O
but	O
a	O
distinct	O
and	O
dynamic	O
personality	O
,	O
opinionated	O
,	O
contemptuous	O
,	O
functioning	O
from	O
within	O
outward	O
--	O
a	O
man	O
who	O
was	O
aware	O
that	O
there	O
could	O
be	O
no	O
honor	O
and	O
yet	O
had	O
honor	O
,	O
who	O
knew	O
the	O
sophistry	O
of	O
courage	O
and	O
yet	O
was	O
brave	O
.	O

A	O
WORTHY	O
MAN	O
AND	O
HIS	O
GIFTED	O
SON	O
Anthony	O
drew	O
as	O
much	O
consciousness	O
of	O
social	O
security	O
from	O
being	O
the	O
grandson	O
of	O
Adam	O
J.	O
Patch	O
as	O
he	O
would	O
have	O
had	O
from	O
tracing	O
his	O
line	O
over	O
the	O
sea	O
to	O
the	O
crusaders	O
.	O

This	O
is	O
inevitable	O
;	O
Virginians	O
and	O
Bostonians	O
to	O
the	O
contrary	O
notwithstanding	O
,	O
an	O
aristocracy	O
founded	O
sheerly	O
on	O
money	O
postulates	O
wealth	O
in	O
the	O
particular	O
.	O

Now	O
Adam	O
J.	O
Patch	O
,	O
more	O
familiarly	O
known	O
as	O
"	O
Cross	O
Patch	O
,	O
"	O
left	EVENT
his	O
father	O
's	O
farm	O
in	O
Tarrytown	O
early	O
in	O
sixty-one	O
to	O
join	O
a	O
New	O
York	O
cavalry	O
regiment	O
.	O

He	O
came	EVENT
home	O
from	O
the	O
war	O
a	O
major	O
,	O
charged	EVENT
into	O
Wall	O
Street	O
,	O
and	O
amid	O
much	O
fuss	O
,	O
fume	O
,	O
applause	O
,	O
and	O
ill	O
will	O
he	O
gathered	O
to	O
himself	O
some	O
seventy-five	O
million	O
dollars	O
.	O

This	O
occupied	O
his	O
energies	O
until	O
he	O
was	O
fifty-seven	O
years	O
old	O
.	O

It	O
was	O
then	O
that	O
he	O
determined	EVENT
,	O
after	O
a	O
severe	O
attack	EVENT
of	O
sclerosis	O
,	O
to	O
consecrate	O
the	O
remainder	O
of	O
his	O
life	O
to	O
the	O
moral	O
regeneration	O
of	O
the	O
world	O
.	O

He	O
became	O
a	O
reformer	O
among	O
reformers	O
.	O

Emulating	O
the	O
magnificent	O
efforts	O
of	O
Anthony	O
Comstock	O
,	O
after	O
whom	O
his	O
grandson	O
was	O
named	O
,	O
he	O
levelled	O
a	O
varied	O
assortment	O
of	O
uppercuts	O
and	O
body-blows	O
at	O
liquor	O
,	O
literature	O
,	O
vice	O
,	O
art	O
,	O
patent	O
medicines	O
,	O
and	O
Sunday	O
theatres	O
.	O

His	O
mind	O
,	O
under	O
the	O
influence	O
of	O
that	O
insidious	O
mildew	O
which	O
eventually	O
forms	O
on	O
all	O
but	O
the	O
few	O
,	O
gave	O
itself	O
up	O
furiously	O
to	O
every	O
indignation	O
of	O
the	O
age	O
.	O

From	O
an	O
armchair	O
in	O
the	O
office	O
of	O
his	O
Tarrytown	O
estate	O
he	O
directed	O
against	O
the	O
enormous	O
hypothetical	O
enemy	O
,	O
unrighteousness	O
,	O
a	O
campaign	O
which	O
went	O
on	O
through	O
fifteen	O
years	O
,	O
during	O
which	O
he	O
displayed	O
himself	O
a	O
rabid	O
monomaniac	O
,	O
an	O
unqualified	O
nuisance	O
,	O
and	O
an	O
intolerable	O
bore	O
.	O

The	O
year	O
in	O
which	O
this	O
story	O
opens	O
found	O
him	O
wearying	O
;	O
his	O
campaign	O
had	O
grown	O
desultory	O
;	O
1861	O
was	O
creeping	O
up	O
slowly	O
on	O
1895	O
;	O
his	O
thoughts	O
ran	O
a	O
great	O
deal	O
on	O
the	O
Civil	O
War	O
,	O
somewhat	O
on	O
his	O
dead	O
wife	O
and	O
son	O
,	O
almost	O
infinitesimally	O
on	O
his	O
grandson	O
Anthony	O
.	O

Early	O
in	O
his	O
career	O
Adam	O
Patch	O
had	O
married	EVENT
an	O
anemic	O
lady	O
of	O
thirty	O
,	O
Alicia	O
Withers	O
,	O
who	O
brought	O
him	O
one	O
hundred	O
thousand	O
dollars	O
and	O
an	O
impeccable	O
entré	O
into	O
the	O
banking	O
circles	O
of	O
New	O
York	O
.	O

Immediately	O
and	O
rather	O
spunkily	O
she	O
had	O
borne	EVENT
him	O
a	O
son	O
and	O
,	O
as	O
if	O
completely	O
devitalized	O
by	O
the	O
magnificence	O
of	O
this	O
performance	O
,	O
she	O
had	O
thenceforth	O
effaced	O
herself	O
within	O
the	O
shadowy	O
dimensions	O
of	O
the	O
nursery	O
.	O

The	O
boy	O
,	O
Adam	O
Ulysses	O
Patch	O
,	O
became	O
an	O
inveterate	O
joiner	O
of	O
clubs	O
,	O
connoisseur	O
of	O
good	O
form	O
,	O
and	O
driver	O
of	O
tandems	O
--	O
at	O
the	O
astonishing	O
age	O
of	O
twenty-six	O
he	O
began	EVENT
his	O
memoirs	O
under	O
the	O
title	O
"	O
New	O
York	O
Society	O
as	O
I	O
Have	O
Seen	O
It	O
.	O
"	O

On	O
the	O
rumor	O
of	O
its	O
conception	O
this	O
work	O
was	O
eagerly	O
bid	O
for	O
among	O
publishers	O
,	O
but	O
as	O
it	O
proved	O
after	O
his	O
death	O
to	O
be	O
immoderately	O
verbose	O
and	O
overpoweringly	O
dull	O
,	O
it	O
never	O
obtained	O
even	O
a	O
private	O
printing	O
.	O

This	O
Fifth	O
Avenue	O
Chesterfield	O
married	EVENT
at	O
twenty-two	O
.	O

His	O
wife	O
was	O
Henrietta	O
Lebrune	O
,	O
the	O
Boston	O
"	O
Society	O
Contralto	O
,	O
"	O
and	O
the	O
single	O
child	O
of	O
the	O
union	O
was	O
,	O
at	O
the	O
request	EVENT
of	O
his	O
grandfather	O
,	O
christened	EVENT
Anthony	O
Comstock	O
Patch	O
.	O

When	O
he	O
went	EVENT
to	O
Harvard	O
,	O
the	O
Comstock	O
dropped	EVENT
out	O
of	O
his	O
name	O
to	O
a	O
nether	O
hell	O
of	O
oblivion	O
and	O
was	O
never	O
heard	O
of	O
thereafter	O
.	O

Young	O
Anthony	O
had	O
one	O
picture	O
of	O
his	O
father	O
and	O
mother	O
together	O
--	O
so	O
often	O
had	O
it	O
faced	O
his	O
eyes	O
in	O
childhood	O
that	O
it	O
had	O
acquired	O
the	O
impersonality	O
of	O
furniture	O
,	O
but	O
every	O
one	O
who	O
came	O
into	O
his	O
bedroom	O
regarded	O
it	O
with	O
interest	O
.	O

It	O
showed	O
a	O
dandy	O
of	O
the	O
nineties	O
,	O
spare	O
and	O
handsome	O
,	O
standing	O
beside	O
a	O
tall	O
dark	O
lady	O
with	O
a	O
muff	O
and	O
the	O
suggestion	O
of	O
a	O
bustle	O
.	O

Between	O
them	O
was	O
a	O
little	O
boy	O
with	O
long	O
brown	O
curls	O
,	O
dressed	O
in	O
a	O
velvet	O
Lord	O
Fauntleroy	O
suit	O
.	O

This	O
was	O
Anthony	O
at	O
five	O
,	O
the	O
year	O
of	O
his	O
mother	O
's	O
death	O
.	O

His	O
memories	O
of	O
the	O
Boston	O
Society	O
Contralto	O
were	O
nebulous	O
and	O
musical	O
.	O

She	O
was	O
a	O
lady	O
who	O
sang	O
,	O
sang	O
,	O
sang	O
,	O
in	O
the	O
music	O
room	O
of	O
their	O
house	O
on	O
Washington	O
Square	O
--	O
sometimes	O
with	O
guests	O
scattered	O
all	O
about	O
her	O
,	O
the	O
men	O
with	O
their	O
arms	O
folded	O
,	O
balanced	O
breathlessly	O
on	O
the	O
edges	O
of	O
sofas	O
,	O
the	O
women	O
with	O
their	O
hands	O
in	O
their	O
laps	O
,	O
occasionally	O
making	O
little	O
whispers	O
to	O
the	O
men	O
and	O
always	O
clapping	O
very	O
briskly	O
and	O
uttering	O
cooing	O
cries	O
after	O
each	O
song	O
--	O
and	O
often	O
she	O
sang	O
to	O
Anthony	O
alone	O
,	O
in	O
Italian	O
or	O
French	O
or	O
in	O
a	O
strange	O
and	O
terrible	O
dialect	O
which	O
she	O
imagined	O
to	O
be	O
the	O
speech	O
of	O
the	O
Southern	O
negro	O
.	O

His	O
recollections	O
of	O
the	O
gallant	O
Ulysses	O
,	O
the	O
first	O
man	O
in	O
America	O
to	O
roll	O
the	O
lapels	O
of	O
his	O
coat	O
,	O
were	O
much	O
more	O
vivid	O
.	O

After	O
Henrietta	O
Lebrune	O
Patch	O
had	O
"	O
joined	EVENT
another	O
choir	O
,	O
"	O
as	O
her	O
widower	O
huskily	O
remarked	O
from	O
time	O
to	O
time	O
,	O
father	O
and	O
son	O
lived	O
up	O
at	O
grampa	O
's	O
in	O
Tarrytown	O
,	O
and	O
Ulysses	O
came	O
daily	O
to	O
Anthony	O
's	O
nursery	O
and	O
expelled	O
pleasant	O
,	O
thick-smelling	O
words	O
for	O
sometimes	O
as	O
much	O
as	O
an	O
hour	O
.	O

He	O
was	O
continually	O
promising	O
Anthony	O
hunting	O
trips	O
and	O
fishing	O
trips	O
and	O
excursions	O
to	O
Atlantic	O
City	O
,	O
"	O
oh	O
,	O
some	O
time	O
soon	O
now	O
"	O
;	O
but	O
none	O
of	O
them	O
ever	O
materialized	O
.	O

One	O
trip	EVENT
they	O
did	O
take	O
;	O
when	O
Anthony	O
was	O
eleven	O
they	O
went	EVENT
abroad	O
,	O
to	O
England	O
and	O
Switzerland	O
,	O
and	O
there	O
in	O
the	O
best	O
hotel	O
in	O
Lucerne	O
his	O
father	O
died	EVENT
with	O
much	O
sweating	EVENT
and	O
grunting	EVENT
and	O
crying	EVENT
aloud	O
for	O
air	O
.	O

In	O
a	O
panic	O
of	O
despair	O
and	O
terror	O
Anthony	O
was	O
brought	EVENT
back	O
to	O
America	O
,	O
wedded	O
to	O
a	O
vague	O
melancholy	O
that	O
was	O
to	O
stay	O
beside	O
him	O
through	O
the	O
rest	O
of	O
his	O
life	O
.	O

PAST	O
AND	O
PERSON	O
OF	O
THE	O
HERO	O
At	O
eleven	O
he	O
had	O
a	O
horror	O
of	O
death	O
.	O

Within	O
six	O
impressionable	O
years	O
his	O
parents	O
had	O
died	O
and	O
his	O
grandmother	O
had	O
faded	EVENT
off	O
almost	O
imperceptibly	O
,	O
until	O
,	O
for	O
the	O
first	O
time	O
since	O
her	O
marriage	EVENT
,	O
her	O
person	O
held	O
for	O
one	O
day	O
an	O
unquestioned	O
supremacy	O
over	O
her	O
own	O
drawing	O
room	O
.	O

So	O
to	O
Anthony	O
life	O
was	O
a	O
struggle	O
against	O
death	O
,	O
that	O
waited	O
at	O
every	O
corner	O
.	O

It	O
was	O
as	O
a	O
concession	O
to	O
his	O
hypochondriacal	O
imagination	O
that	O
he	O
formed	O
the	O
habit	O
of	O
reading	O
in	O
bed	O
--	O
it	O
soothed	O
him	O
.	O

He	O
read	O
until	O
he	O
was	O
tired	O
and	O
often	O
fell	O
asleep	O
with	O
the	O
lights	O
still	O
on	O
.	O

His	O
favorite	O
diversion	O
until	O
he	O
was	O
fourteen	O
was	O
his	O
stamp	O
collection	O
;	O
enormous	O
,	O
as	O
nearly	O
exhaustive	O
as	O
a	O
boy	O
's	O
could	O
be	O
--	O
his	O
grandfather	O
considered	O
fatuously	O
that	O
it	O
was	O
teaching	O
him	O
geography	O
.	O

So	O
Anthony	O
kept	O
up	O
a	O
correspondence	O
with	O
a	O
half	O
dozen	O
"	O
Stamp	O
and	O
Coin	O
"	O
companies	O
and	O
it	O
was	O
rare	O
that	O
the	O
mail	O
failed	O
to	O
bring	O
him	O
new	O
stamp-books	O
or	O
packages	O
of	O
glittering	O
approval	O
sheets	O
--	O
there	O
was	O
a	O
mysterious	O
fascination	O
in	O
transferring	O
his	O
acquisitions	O
interminably	O
from	O
one	O
book	O
to	O
another	O
.	O

His	O
stamps	O
were	O
his	O
greatest	O
happiness	O
and	O
he	O
bestowed	O
impatient	O
frowns	O
on	O
any	O
one	O
who	O
interrupted	O
him	O
at	O
play	O
with	O
them	O
;	O
they	O
devoured	O
his	O
allowance	O
every	O
month	O
,	O
and	O
he	O
lay	O
awake	O
at	O
night	O
musing	O
untiringly	O
on	O
their	O
variety	O
and	O
many-colored	O
splendor	O
.	O

At	O
sixteen	O
he	O
had	O
lived	O
almost	O
entirely	O
within	O
himself	O
,	O
an	O
inarticulate	O
boy	O
,	O
thoroughly	O
un-American	O
,	O
and	O
politely	O
bewildered	O
by	O
his	O
contemporaries	O
.	O

The	O
two	O
preceding	O
years	O
had	O
been	O
spent	O
in	O
Europe	O
with	O
a	O
private	O
tutor	O
,	O
who	O
persuaded	O
him	O
that	O
Harvard	O
was	O
the	O
thing	O
;	O
it	O
would	O
"	O
open	O
doors	O
,	O
"	O
it	O
would	O
be	O
a	O
tremendous	O
tonic	O
,	O
it	O
would	O
give	O
him	O
innumerable	O
self-sacrificing	O
and	O
devoted	O
friends	O
.	O

So	O
he	O
went	O
to	O
Harvard	O
--	O
there	O
was	O
no	O
other	O
logical	O
thing	O
to	O
be	O
done	O
with	O
him	O
.	O

Oblivious	O
to	O
the	O
social	O
system	O
,	O
he	O
lived	O
for	O
a	O
while	O
alone	O
and	O
unsought	O
in	O
a	O
high	O
room	O
in	O
Beck	O
Hall	O
--	O
a	O
slim	O
dark	O
boy	O
of	O
medium	O
height	O
with	O
a	O
shy	O
sensitive	O
mouth	O
.	O

His	O
allowance	O
was	O
more	O
than	O
liberal	O
.	O

He	O
laid	EVENT
the	O
foundations	O
for	O
a	O
library	O
by	O
purchasing	EVENT
from	O
a	O
wandering	O
bibliophile	O
first	O
editions	O
of	O
Swinburne	O
,	O
Meredith	O
,	O
and	O
Hardy	O
,	O
and	O
a	O
yellowed	O
illegible	O
autograph	O
letter	O
of	O
Keats	O
's	O
,	O
finding	O
later	O
that	O
he	O
had	O
been	O
amazingly	O
overcharged	EVENT
.	O

He	O
became	O
an	O
exquisite	O
dandy	O
,	O
amassed	O
a	O
rather	O
pathetic	O
collection	O
of	O
silk	O
pajamas	O
,	O
brocaded	O
dressing-gowns	O
,	O
and	O
neckties	O
too	O
flamboyant	O
to	O
wear	O
;	O
in	O
this	O
secret	O
finery	O
he	O
would	O
parade	O
before	O
a	O
mirror	O
in	O
his	O
room	O
or	O
lie	O
stretched	O
in	O
satin	O
along	O
his	O
window-seat	O
looking	O
down	O
on	O
the	O
yard	O
and	O
realizing	O
dimly	O
this	O
clamor	O
,	O
breathless	O
and	O
immediate	O
,	O
in	O
which	O
it	O
seemed	O
he	O
was	O
never	O
to	O
have	O
a	O
part	O
.	O

Curiously	O
enough	O
he	O
found	O
in	O
senior	O
year	O
that	O
he	O
had	O
acquired	O
a	O
position	O
in	O
his	O
class	O
.	O

He	O
learned	O
that	O
he	O
was	O
looked	O
upon	O
as	O
a	O
rather	O
romantic	O
figure	O
,	O
a	O
scholar	O
,	O
a	O
recluse	O
,	O
a	O
tower	O
of	O
erudition	O
.	O

This	O
amused	O
him	O
but	O
secretly	O
pleased	O
him	O
--	O
he	O
began	O
going	O
out	O
,	O
at	O
first	O
a	O
little	O
and	O
then	O
a	O
great	O
deal	O
.	O

He	O
made	O
the	O
Pudding	O
.	O

He	O
drank	O
--	O
quietly	O
and	O
in	O
the	O
proper	O
tradition	O
.	O

It	O
was	O
said	O
of	O
him	O
that	O
had	O
he	O
not	O
come	O
to	O
college	O
so	O
young	O
he	O
might	O
have	O
"	O
done	O
extremely	O
well	O
.	O
"	O

In	O
1909	O
,	O
when	O
he	O
graduated	EVENT
,	O
he	O
was	O
only	O
twenty	O
years	O
old	O
.	O

Then	O
abroad	O
again	O
--	O
to	O
Rome	O
this	O
time	O
,	O
where	O
he	O
dallied	EVENT
with	O
architecture	O
and	O
painting	O
in	O
turn	O
,	O
took	EVENT
up	O
the	O
violin	O
,	O
and	O
wrote	EVENT
some	O
ghastly	O
Italian	O
sonnets	O
,	O
supposedly	O
the	O
ruminations	O
of	O
a	O
thirteenth-century	O
monk	O
on	O
the	O
joys	O
of	O
the	O
contemplative	O
life	O
.	O

It	O
became	O
established	O
among	O
his	O
Harvard	O
intimates	O
that	O
he	O
was	O
in	O
Rome	O
,	O
and	O
those	O
of	O
them	O
who	O
were	O
abroad	O
that	O
year	O
looked	O
him	O
up	O
and	O
discovered	O
with	O
him	O
,	O
on	O
many	O
moonlight	O
excursions	O
,	O
much	O
in	O
the	O
city	O
that	O
was	O
older	O
than	O
the	O
Renaissance	O
or	O
indeed	O
than	O
the	O
republic	O
.	O

Maury	O
Noble	O
,	O
from	O
Philadelphia	O
,	O
for	O
instance	O
,	O
remained	O
two	O
months	O
,	O
and	O
together	O
they	O
realized	O
the	O
peculiar	O
charm	O
of	O
Latin	O
women	O
and	O
had	O
a	O
delightful	O
sense	O
of	O
being	O
very	O
young	O
and	O
free	O
in	O
a	O
civilization	O
that	O
was	O
very	O
old	O
and	O
free	O
.	O

Not	O
a	O
few	O
acquaintances	O
of	O
his	O
grandfather	O
's	O
called	O
on	O
him	O
,	O
and	O
had	O
he	O
so	O
desired	O
he	O
might	O
have	O
been	O
_	O
persona	O
grata	O
_	O
with	O
the	O
diplomatic	O
set	O
--	O
indeed	O
,	O
he	O
found	O
that	O
his	O
inclinations	O
tended	O
more	O
and	O
more	O
toward	O
conviviality	O
,	O
but	O
that	O
long	O
adolescent	O
aloofness	O
and	O
consequent	O
shyness	O
still	O
dictated	O
to	O
his	O
conduct	O
.	O